I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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