The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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