So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
