Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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