just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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