He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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