Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
