I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
