I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
