Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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