Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
