also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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