woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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