you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
