Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
