did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
