Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
