I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
