wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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