Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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