Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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