So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
