I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
