So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
