i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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