Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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