i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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