Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
my liver is dry heaving
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
