Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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