You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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