We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
