Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
