So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
