Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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