I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
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