I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
