I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
