Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
