I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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