SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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