i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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