My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
