I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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