there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
