That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Found the puke drawer
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
