is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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