I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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