Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
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