i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
