I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
